My Brain is Dead.
No seriously, it's like white noise in there.
It’s Sunday and I am staring at a blank page and nothing is coming to mind. There is not one single idea in my head on what I want to write about for this week’s musing. My red tide is here, the full moon is coming, my animals and toddler are growing more insane by the day, I’ve done a shit ton this week, and it’s all been a blur. I think I have fried my brain (I mean, it’s been toast since I had my daughter but it’s deep fried right now). I run 3 other businesses (well kind of 4) and I’ve been mostly ignoring them these last few weeks as we have been working on getting our website up and running for Galaxy Gals. I made a new friend this week and I have already roped her into being a guest Galaxy Gal as she has encouraged me to start offering one of my other skills that I don’t ever really talk about or share with people because it’s considered weird and even taboo by many.
You see, I’m a little bit psychic. I read tarot cards all the time, though mostly just for myself. However, those I have read for have always said my readings are very accurate. I can feel things as I’m reading for people that are not my own feelings or sensations, I get flashes of images in my head that give me insights sometimes, and I also “hear” things that I relay to those I am reading for. Now, I can’t tell you if your dead grandma is standing next to you or anything… yet, but I have made so many predictions that have come true, I often know when someone is going to contact me before they do. Sometimes, I even know what they are going to say to me. I’ve had many prophetic dreams, and I can sense when spirits are near, especially the bad ones.
I also love reading people’s birth charts and giving them insights into their own behavior and even ways to improve their lives based on the stars and planets. I will sometimes get “feelings” or “voices” while I do these, but it’s a more scientific or methodical approach when I do these. My new friend, who’s name is also Ashley, loves astrology as well and can read synastry charts (which is the combination of two people’s birth charts put together to see how well they will get along and even if they may be soulmates or not). She told me I should start offering these to people after being shocked by how accurate I got her readings done, and after reading her and seeing where she needs to apply her skills, I decided that she needs to share hers as well with the world. And so here we are! This is going to take a bit of time to roll out, but it should be ready within a month’s time. I’m very nervous, even though I know these are natural strengths of mine, but I’m a victim of imposter syndrome on just about everything I do, plus, people haven’t always liked the things I’ve pointed out that they need to heal, so there is hesitation. Another one of my skills is seeing the deep dark secrets and insecurities that people hold and don’t want other’s to know, and so there is often resistance and even anger when I point these things out. Which is fine, not everyone is ready to face their dark side, but it does still affect me and makes me very frustrated, because I only do it to show where a person can grow and be their best selves and bring upon their best future.
But I suppose that’s their problem, not mine. I’ve been working very hard to become detached from people’s attitudes and their own issues, because I tend to soak them up like a sponge. This has caused me nothing but strife and unnecessary pain that takes me years to heal and recover from depending on how close I was with them. In other words, I’m trying to stop giving a fuck about other people’s demons and just focus on healing my own. I’m a natural healer who also naturally attracts toxic people who need to be healed, and I do love helping others, but I’m going to stop letting it get to the point where it effects my own health and mental wellbeing. No more fucks from me, y’all! People pleasing Ashley is (mostly) dead. Some may say that makes me cold, but really, it makes me strong. How often do we not stand up for ourselves when someone is taking advantage of us or abusing us in some way? Exactly, it’s really hard to do. So I am now in my Me season and I’m not apologizing for it and I don’t care who it pisses off. That’s your problem. My goal is to attract and surround myself with those who match my energy and give to me as much as they take. This is how relationships are supposed to be. I give a lot, like a fuck ton, and I don’t really receive a lot back most of the time. This is not a humble brag, this is a major fault of mine that I am remedying and I encourage you to look at your life and see if you do the same. Put a tampon in that bleeding heart of yours and make sure you are not killing yourself for the sake of someone else (who probably doesn’t even deserve it). Stop being a hospital for broken people. They can go find a therapist.
Well looky there, I guess I did have something to talk about. I didn’t mean for it to turn into a rant, but, it’s in my nature.
Anyway, cool new stuff is coming to Galaxy Gals, we’ll be adding new stuff to our shop soon (I’ve been working on some patterns and designs), autumn started yesterday and as soon as it starts to cool off, my summer depression can end, I can go back outside again, and start really feeling like myself. Cold season Ashley is a thriving Ashley. Now that I have this newsletter done, I’m going to go try to sort out my brain and see where I need to be focusing right now.
Till next time friend,
Ashley C.
You will inspire some and trigger others. Both are medicine.
-Unknown
